


loss.jpg

by Confetti94



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Breaking the Fourth Wall, But the angst is fucking stupid so prepare your ass, Crack, Excessive and probably unneeded swearing, Frisk is also tired of everyone's shit, Frisk is the manifestation of everyone, I fucking hate "get dunked on", I'm not even joking about how bad this is I literally wrote it in one math class, Old Memes, Switching from past and present tense a lot because I'm a bad writer, This Is STUPID, Undertale Spoilers, im so sorry, outdated memes, uh i guess for chapter 9....blood and gore sort of lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 02:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confetti94/pseuds/Confetti94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Don't read this," Frisk said, looking at the person reading the summary. "Trust me on this. Just don't."</p><p>AKA "The Shitstorm that makes fun of a bunch of Undertale stereotypes regardless of whether they are true or not."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> help me

Frisk turned their head and looked at Sans. By look, I mean eyes-open look since Frisk is usually perpetually squinting? Sans instantly felt cyan-blue (shut up it's fucking blue) filling his eye-sockets and he started teleporting all over the place in his panic. He thought it was Chara. Tears fell out of his eyesockets.

"How the fuck are you crying? That's so stupid," Frisk said, completely and most definitely in character.

"C-Chara, they...killed my bro...even though I had the full capability to stop them..now all I can do is cry tears and radiate angst...agh," Sans croaked.

" **I AM THE DEMON THAT COMES WHEN YOU CALL MY NAME** ," Chara screeched like Papyrus at San's puns in 99% of every single Undertale comic.

"You're gonna get dunked on," Sans bad-timed, using his angst powers to throw bones at Chara who randomly appeared or something? Chara got hit by one and started crying, then collapsed on the floor. They suddenly looked so fragile...

"No! What have I done...I'm a killer," Sans cried. Chara weakly lifted their head.

"I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every day I-" Chara started.

"Will you two  _shut the fuck up_ ," Frisk screamed.

"Don't be fucking rude," Chara snapped, then continued to have a bad time. "My life was shit on the surface...now I want to kill everyone."

"Oh," said everyone (including you, don't deny it) sadly, sniffing. "In that case...then I forgive you." At this point, San's angst was beginning to ebb away. 

"W-wait, what? The fuck? Que? Just because you had a bad life doesn't mean your actions are justified in any way shape or form-" Frisk yelled.

"MY TRAGIC PAST," Chara wailed, clutching their chest and cutting off Frisk's speech. Chara's soul floated above their body and popped like a fucking grenade in a few seconds. San's pool of impossible tears began to engulf Chara's body. Frisk swore loudly and hit the LOAD SAVE button or whatever the hell it's called I haven't played Undertale in like 3 months


	2. Frisk and Chara haven't saved since back in the Waterfall LOL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did you really think you could get away with only a few saves

Frisk jolted awake, sitting upright and knocking their head against Chara's leg.

"What the hell? Where are we?" Frisk began. Chara stood up and started stabbing at the wall with their knife, unable to control their unspeakable rage.

"Why won't you let me kill everyone? Then my angst-quest (TM) will be finished, and I can finally RIP in peace and go beat up Asriel in the afterlife or whatever," Chara complained, really loudly and obnoxiously like the annoying little antagonist they are.

"Okay, but all that aside, remind me why the fuck we never saved after this point?”

"Because the author wanted to write a story about shit in the Waterfall but didn't know how to get from the End to the Waterfall without breaking the story's flow?”

"The story doesn't have any fucking sense of flow whatsoever.”

"Can we stop talking? The only thing I can think about right now is killing people to fulfill my destiny," Chara snapped, ready to continue onwards. Frisk was dragged along because Frisk is a punk bitch and doesn't want to get left behind. Just kidding Frisk doesn't give a shit but we all want Pacifrisk and Charanger to journey together. Am I right, guys. Am I right.

The two humans (or one human who even knows if Chara is human lmfao) walked through the waterfall and listened to the echo flowers repeat the conversation between two monsters (?) discussing their dreams.

"I wonder who these people were, speaking through these echo flowers," Frisk drawled, clearly bored just like the rest of us because this story isn't nearly funny enough. Chara helped them.

"Actually, it was a conversation between me and Asriel like 57 years ago when I was whiney and cried a lot. That was a little before my angst kicked in and I decided to kill everyone," Chara insightfully said. Suddenly, Sans appeared in the murky water beside them.

"Um, it was actually my bro and I before you chopped his head off. You can tell by how sad I sound in the echo flower because my dream is to see the stars but all I get to see is these shitty blue crystals on the cave walls," Sans sobbed, his blue tears trickling into the water and making it glow a little.

"None of your explanations make sense??? How could the echo flowers retain conversations from that long ago? Wouldn't they just start repeating what we've been saying or some shit?" Frisk asked, ignoring the sad backstory explanations provided by Chara and Sans.

"This is the reason I want to kill everyone," Chara hissed. Sans felt really scared and started teleporting around again. Megolavania started blaring and Frisk covered their ears because they were tired of hearing that fucking song.

"Chara...you're gonna get dunked on, dunk on dunked," Sans dunked on, dunking on Chara dunk on. "Dunking dunk dunk on, dunked on."  
Frisk turned and stared directly into your retinas as the exchange went as follows:

"Bad time...dunk time bad on time dunk..." Chara hissed, dunk lacing their voice.

"Dunk on...bad time bad time dunk!" Sans shrieked, angst overflowing and destroying the author's ability to type.


	3. frisk and chara go to swimming class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A+++ chapter right here

“Hey, it’s Monster Kid,” Frisk exclaimed, watching the yellow monster lacking arms run over to them. Monster Kid tripped 5 times on the way over, breaking their nose in the process. 

“Hiyah! You must be a kid too, right? You wear striped sweaters!” Monster Kid said, smiling.

“I’ve been wearing this sweater for over 300 years,” Chara said numbly. Frisk finally understood why it smelt like shit everywhere they went.

“You’re kids too, so you totally agree with me! My dream is to meet Undyne! I want to get beat the fuck up by Undyne! That’d be so cool!” Monster Kid ran around in circles, falling over 9 times and probably gaining a concussion.

Suddenly, from above, Frisk heard the clanking of armor. They grabbed Chara’s hand and jumped into some dank weeds to hide from the approaching figure.

“NYGAHHHHHHH!” The figure, Undyne, howled, voice echoing throughout the Waterfall and shattering Frisk’s eardrums. 

“Holy fuck,” Frisk said, clutching their wounded ear. Chara stared blankly at the armored Undyne above their head. 

“I want to kill her.”

“You want to kill everyone?”

“Her specifically, because she’s a hero or something and killing an innocent will secure my position as an angsty, blood-covered antagonist,” Chara replied in an even more (surprisingly) monotonous voice.

Undyne stopped screaming after a few minutes and then pounded her fist into the ground, causing an earthquake and leveling a nearby human village aboveground. 

“I FIGHT FOR MY FRIENDS,” Undyne screamed, once again. (At this point you can listen to this song and feel spiritual peace within your soul: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_hcZ2G5860](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_hcZ2G5860))

“OH MY GOD UNDYNE,” Monster Kid screeched, running out of the bushes and doing the splits in front of the heroine. They broke their legs in the process. “PLEASE FIGHT ME AND THEN AUTOGRAPH MY FEET AFTER KNOCKING ME UNCONSCIOUS!”

“I can assist with that,” Chara said. Undyne heard them and started NGYAAAHing repeatedly.

“I KILL CHILDREN FOR MY FRIENDS REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT’S MORALLY RIGHT!” Undyne said, throwing 984 spears at the grass. Chara dodged them all and muttered, “Baka…”

Frisk called them a weaboo and then took of running, diving into the murky water where Sans was swimming and destroying the water with Angst Radiation. Chara ninja-ran after them and backflipped into the water.

“Shit! They got away,” Undyne said, stomping over to the water edge and flinging their spear in a random direction out of sheer anger. It hit Monster Kid in the face and they were flung off into the cavern ceiling, never to be seen again. Undyne began to cry, San’s angst being too much for her.

“I’m not…strong enough. How can I protect my friends in my current state?” Undyne cried. I swear to fucking god if my computer autocorrects Undyne to Undone one more time I’m deleting the internet. Sans emerged from the water, dripping the radiated, angst filled water onto the ground and causing holes to melt in the ground from the sheer tragic backstory imbedded in each water drop.

“Hey there buddy, don’t worry about it,” Sans said, reaching up to pat Undyne’s back. Her armor let out a resounding bang. “I always try to stop them, but then they get away and keep restarting. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over…”

Sans got that weird, faraway look in his eyes and Undyne made the typical anime protagonist “tch” and shoved him into the water, where he dropped beneath the waves and started making the water glow blue from his tears.

A few yards away Onion-san was letting out guttural screams and saying something like “SENPAI” due to the large amounts of angst they accidentally ingested from the angst-infested waters. Press f to pay respects.

 


	4. Chara fucking dies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytGKRRNrbdo

“When did everything go so wrong,” Frisk muttered, balancing 29 identical Hot Dogs on their head.

Frisk and Chara had swam upstream, venturing into the Hotlands and crawling up onto the barren ground. San’s Angst-Water had instantly dried on the human’s skin, giving them Angst-Burn; Angst-Burn was a rare condition in which the soul of a human or monster becomes so infested with angst that their skin begins to boil and burn like a sunburn on steroids. 

Luckily for Sans, he doesn’t have skin. 

Chara was sitting in an isolated corner of the room, tearing apart a Hot Dog with their bare fingers and throwing them off the edge of the cliff into the lava. 

“They hate me,” Chara said, throwing a piece of the meat over the cliff, “They hate me not. They hate me…”

This went over for several minutes until Chara ran out of Hot Dog and stomped over to San’s illegal Hot Dog stand, demanding more Hot Dogs. Sans refused to give them another Hot Dog. Chara started stabbing the stand with their knife and burning the pieces of wood, creating a campfire in the already-hot Hotlands and chanting to summon their lord and savior Satan. Everyone ignored this like it was a normal thing.

“Why can’t you put more than 29 on my head?” Frisk asked, trying to balance the Hot Dogs on their head. Sans chuckled like an old guy in an anime about to tell an old story.

“Each of those Hot Dogs…do you know what they represent?”

“Do I want to know?” Frisk said, rolling their eyes, knowing what was coming next. I think we all do.

“Each Hot Dog…they represent every single time you’ve reset, every time you’ve killed my…brother…every time you’ve killed my friends, my-“

Frisk stopped listening at this point and threw one of the Hot Dogs at Sans. It landed in his eye socket and he paused in his monologue to stare at it with one pinprick of an eye, then went back to his speech.

“-I’d been planning to prank the shit out of Papyrus that day, but then you came along…I watched you stab him…I did nothing so I could have a tragic past, and I-“

Frisk started shoving the Hot Dogs into San’s mouth, causing his voice to become muffled. Still, it did not stop the angst train. Everyone in a 50 mile radius could sense San’s special ability, and everyone perpetually groaned.

“-wrapped his scarf around me because I need a constant reminder of him dying, and something to fuel my-“

“ALRIGHT, WE GET IT, FUCK OFF,” Chara shrieked, drop kicking San’s and sending him flying all the way back to Snowdin where he fucking belonged. The momentum sent Chara flying into the lava below. Frisk face-desked using the remains of San’s Hot Dog stand and pressed the LOAD SAVE button. Before they could do that, some little-ass yellow lizard walked into the room.

“U-Uh-u-u-h-uh-uh, h-h-he-hello,” Alphys said, blushing super hard and causing sparkles to appear around her. Frisk screamed.

This was going to be a long run.


	5. Epic brawl stopped short because Frisk is a weenie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frisko my disco
> 
> edit: this is the second longest work in my entire archive as of this chapter and i am half disappointed and half proud

Alphys stammered worse than a high school student reading a presentation to their classmates.

“H-hey, d-d-di-did your friend t-there…fall i-into the lava…?”

Frisk looked behind them and peered into the lava, where Chara was trying to swim in the molten goop and failing miserably. They’d be dead in a few seconds. 

Chara flipped Frisk off with a melted, bony hand. Frisk raised their eyebrows and addressed the yellow lizard in front of them.

“Yes.”

“A-are…a-ar-are you going to help th-“

“The sooner you stop talking to sooner I can save their stupid ass,” Frisk said simply. Alphys clasped her hands together and held them nervously.

“I-I’m s-s-s-s-o-sorry, Human-san-chan-kun,” Alphys said, starting to gnaw a hole through her lip from how hard they were chewing on it. Frisk screamed once again, causing Alphys to yelp and jump backwards. She teetered on the edge of the cliff.

“ALL OF YOU ARE FUCKING WEABOOS - woah hey don’t fall for me,” Frisk said, making the pick up line accidentally and reaching out to grab Alphys’ clawed hands, pulling her back to safety. Alphys blushed hard and somehow, impossibly, cherry blossom petals started raining down on the two individuals. At this point Frisk began having a mental breakdown and started to cry.

“Oh, Human-senpai,” Alphys cooed. At this, Frisk drop kicked Alphys over the edge of the cliff. The theme song of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie or whatever started playing, except it was a sad music box version like you would hear on Youtube video that had a thumbnail photo of an unrelated anime character on it.

Frisk, shaking from the effort, howled into the lava that Alphys disappeared in. Their cries echoed through the Underground.

“FUCK YOUR STUPID ASS…MYDOKI MAGICA, AND…THAT ANIME WITH THE ROBOTS CALLED EVA-LION OR SOMETHING, AND…AND THAT SHITTY MEOW MEOW KISSY FRUITIE,” Frisk shrieked. Suddenly, a shape shot out of the lava, so fast that Frisk couldn’t track it with their eyes.

The shape landed next to Frisk, creating a crater underneath them. Frisk turned, eyes wide, and stared at what emerged from the bubbling abyss below.

Alphys, face twisted with fury, now had an 8-pack. Her arms bulged with muscles that had previously been hidden. Alphys began to cry, face shifting from anger to sadness with a slow frame rate like in the animes.

“What the fuck,” Alphys hissed, “did you just say, about Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, you little shit?”

Frisk hit the LOAD SAVE button just before a large yellow lizard fist barreled into their face.


	6. We're back, baby.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chara learns the true meaning of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please listen to this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChpmKkWBb4w

“How the hell did we end up here,” Frisk muttered, watching Chara shove Alphys out of her computer chair. Previously, they’d been in the Hotlands; after hiding from Alphys, they followed her back to her lab (Chara wanted to steal her glasses, since they looked sort of expensive and they would probably sell pretty well) and ended up in…a situation.

“Wow, your Tumblr theme sucks ass,” Chara said absently to Alphys, who was stuttering madly.

“I-I-I-I-I c-couldn’t…f-f-f-fi-find o-one t-th-that appealed t-t-to-to me…,” she protested, but Chara had already tuned her out. They snorted at Alphys’ follower count.

“Only 50? Scrub,” Chara sneered, then started searching for blogs on the search bar. Alphys cried out.

“W-w-wait! W-w-wh-wha-what are y-y-you d-d-“ 

A few hours later, Frisk finally stopped Alphys from talking.

“ENOUGH,” Frisk said, clutching their head. “Just stop. Talking. Please,” they pleaded to the yellow lizard dinosaur (?) and went over to see what Chara was doing. 

“Frisk, which blogs are worse? Porn or gore?”

“What the fuck?”

“I’m going to reblog a bunch of bad stuff so all her followers unfollow her. Then I’ll download a bunch of their photos and shit and make her post it herself.”

Frisk kicked the chair and Chara tumbled out of it, swearing the entire way. Chara lashed out with a leg and caught Frisk by the foot, sending the human tumbling to the floor. The two tangled together, scratching and punching at each other.

“Chara, I don’t even give a shit about half the things you do, but that’s really going a little far!”

“What, so killing people isn’t worse?”

“No, Chara, you don’t understand. You know how they always say that once you put something on the internet, it’s there forever?"

Chara stopped, scrunching up their eyebrows. 

“Yeah?”

“Well, even if we reset…that remains true. It’s the unbreakable rule of space and time.”

Chara gaped at Frisk. This was something new to them. They scrambled to their feet and frantically began typing into the computer. Frisk tried to stop them, but it was too late. Chara had typed out the message:

“AYY LMAO WHAT UP ITS ME CHARA WE OUT TO KILL THE MONSTERS HIT ME UP WITH THEM LIKES!!!!”

Frisk managed to slam their fist into the keyboard and mess up the message a little, but it was still eligible. 

“AYYHHGHGHGHGHG LMAO WHAT UP ITS ME IUGHRIEUGHCHARA WE OUT TO KIU***$*eueuLL THE MONSTERS HIT ME UP WITH THEM LIKES!!!!idulshfgersuiRF78Y23” 

Chara hit post and the message was finalized. Frisk screamed. Chara howled with laughter. 

“Why is this a bad thing? This opens up thousands of opportunities to fuck with everyone!”

“YOU IDIOT!”

“You have no style, Frisk.”

And suddenly, there was a loud crash. Chara, Frisk, and Alphys swiveled their heads towards the noise; a weird, rectangular calculator had broken through the wall.

“DID SOMEBODY SAY…STYLE?”

“Fuck,” Frisk said, pinching the bridge of their nose with their fingers. Chara raised their hand in response to the calculator’s question. The calculator pointed at them.

“YOU! DO YOU HAVE STYLE?” The calculator posed and a spotlight appeared from the ceiling, lighting up the area around him. The “Are you Smarter than a Fifth Grader” theme started playing for some unknown reason.

“Maybe,” Chara answered. 

“SO YOU MIGHT HAVE STYLE?”

“Is the only thing you like style or something? Jesus.”

“No,” Calculator Man said, flailing his arms. “I like to sing...” Chara shrugged.

“Cool.”

“Dance…,” Calculator Man continued.

“Interesting,” Chara once again replied.

“Pretend…,” Calculator Man said.

“Wait what,” Frisk blurted out.

“AAAANNND…,” Calculator, who is named Mettaton for those of you who didn’t get the hint, paused before announcing a crucial piece of information:

“KAAAAAZOOOOOOOO!!!”

Mettaton morphed into his semi-human form or whatever the hell it’s called and pulled out a mint-condition, cherry-red kazoo, the very same one that Kazoo Kid used in the video, “You On Kazoo,” and began to make music.

And instantly, Chara’s shoulders relaxed. They brought the knife they always had out of their pocket.

They snapped it in half, throwing it across the room, now useless. Frisk was stunned. Chara would never do that. Ever. They stared at Mettaton’s kazoo; this thing…had the power to pacify Chara?

Chara was indeed pacified. They smiled genuinely, hands clasped respectfully in their lap, and they swayed gently to the tune. Frisk got down on their knees and begged to Mettaton:

“Please don’t stop playing that kazoo ever. Join us on our journey, but never stop playing that kazoo.”

It appears a new party member has joined the story.


	7. see you space cowboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last of us: mettaton left behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special St. Patricks day chapter, not themed after it whatsoever, featuring pictures!

The kazoo playing lasted about 15 minutes before Mettaton halted in his music to talk about sexiness to Frisk, and shit hit the fan. 

Chara went fucking berserk.

Frisk had never seen them this angry, and they’ve seen Chara angry. But this was beyond anger. This was pure and unfiltered rage.

Frisk couldn’t even keep track of Chara with their eyes as the pissed off individual darted towards Mettaton, snatching the kazoo out of his hands and running for the knife they’d broken on the floor. Mettaton wailed, reaching for Chara, but Chara wheeled around and held the severed blade to the kazoo.

“DON’T MOVE OR THE KAZOO GETS IT,” they screamed. Mettaton put his hands up. He clapped his hands and a camera started filming. The theme of “Cops” started played, and Mettaton turned towards the camera, narrating dramatically.

“Today on Cops, we face a deranged child holding a vintage kazoo hostage. Will we be able to stop the quickly escalating situation…sexily? Find out today!”

“I’M NOT FUCKING JOKING,” Chara screamed, slicing a small line into the pristine red coating of the kazoo. 

Mettaton posed, seductively sticking out his leggy. “Nobody can resist the power…of my thighs,” he whispered, voice husky. 

Chara paused.

“Are you…?”

Mettaton blinked.

“Am I what?”

“You know…uh,” Chara started, then reconsidered their words.

“What is it?”

Chara almost dropped the kazoo while trying to think of the right thing to say.

“Are you one of those…uh, sex robots.”

“What,” Mettaton said, deadpan.

“What,” Frisk said in the same tone of voice.

“LIKE, FROM FALLOUT!” Chara screamed, nearly shattering the kazoo in their iron grip. Mettaton said nothing for a long time.

“…mayb-“

“ALRIGHT OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH FOR THIS CHAPTER,” Frisk hollered, striding up to Chara and dragging them out of Alphys’ lab abruptly. Chara dropped the kazoo for the sake of a plot device.

Mettaton dragged himself over to the kazoo, not breaking his sexy pose. He pressed his lips to the instrument.

“It’s alright now. Have no fear, Mettaton is here.” 

Smooching the kazoo, he whispered:

“Goodnight, sweet prince."


	8. please end this story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i think i have a cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THis is so cringe please dont read this

The trek from Alphys’s lab to Mettaton’s Motel - “Mettaton’s Mottetell,” Chara had remarked, which earned a groan from Frisk - was long and tedious. It wasn’t that it was really far away, but Chara kept getting sidetracked. It was probably due to their lack of knife, since it was snapped in half during their kazoo trance.

After about 20 seconds of silence, Chara piped up with some more bullshit.

“Alright, so, I know this probably isn’t a question I should be asking now of all times,” Chara began.

“Uh-huh,” Frisk muttered.

“But…where the hell is Sans?”

Frisk gave Chara a sideways glance, eyebrows furrowed. It was the look someone gave another when they were this close to losing their shit:

 

 

“I dunno, back at Snowdin? Where you punted him?”

“Gee, how could I forget? No, what I mean is…where the hell IS he? Normally whenever we manage to lose him, he shows up in a few hours at the most. So why isn’t he back yet?”

Frisk stopped. Chara wasn’t prepared for Frisk to stop and bumped into them.

“…how far away is Snowdin from the Hotlands?” Frisk asked, slowly. Chara looked back from where they came, hands shielding their eyes from the sun that didn’t exist because they were fucking underground.

“…at least 5 feet?”

“Chara, I’m being serious.”

“Hi Being Serious, I’m Dad.”

Frisk loaded a Save the second Chara uttered the words.

They returned to walking from the last point Frisk had saved, which was a little after leaving the lab. They saved so Chara wouldn’t be able to go back and get their knife before they broke it, just to piss Chara off. It worked well.

“I’m not having that kind of shit come out of your mouth, Chara. Not today.”

“Hi, Not having that kind of shit come out of your mouth, Ch-“

Frisk punted Chara into the lava. They loaded the Save again.

“Enough,” Frisk said through gritted teeth.

“Hey, being boiled alive made me think. What if the impact of being kicked all the way from here to Snowdin…killed Sans?” Chara was tapping their foot now, lost in thoughts. All alone. Sing with me, a song...of Birthrights and Lo-

“Stop that, author. Your Fire Emblem piece of shit,” Frisk snapped, roasting me out of the narration. Now I’m narrating, you asshole. It’s me, Frisk. I’m the narrator now.

“Wow, Frisk, you’re even worse than I am,” Chara said. Chara realized what they were saying was stupid, and suddenly Chara vowed to stop fucking killing everyone once and for all.

“I didn’t do that. Fuck you. Give me the narration,” Chara snapped. Chara’s superior intellect allowed the readers (That’s you guys, by the way! I’ll kill you all one day, just you watch!) to understand their thought process. By precise calculations, Chara developed a theory that, upon landing in Snowdin, Sans received massive damage and died nearly instantly.

“Chara, you’re so cool!” Frisk said, in awe of the incredible individual named Chara. “No, fuck, stop that. I never said that,” Frisk bullshitted again. What a strange thing for Frisk to say! Continue marveling at Chara, Frisk!

**That’s enough, you two. This is my story. Or do you want me to bring Sans back?**

**Oh, now you shut up? That’s great, that’s nice. Continue on.**

“So, you’re saying that…Sans is. Dead?” Frisk said carefully, scratching their head. “No, that’s just not possible. There’d be some bullshit event that would prevent his death. There’s no way he’d just be…dead.”

“A serial killer can dream, Frisk. A serial killer can dream,” Chara mumbled.

 

Meanwhile, somewhere far away, but not too much...

 

“So…how would you like to join my group? We can get revenge on those two humans, just like you’re always talking about!” A strange, small figure spoke to a suspiciously glowing and…angsty?…person. Oh shit lol cliffhanger 


	9. goodbye (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> no more memes i need to end this

"Wow, we ended up at Asgore's place a lot sooner than I thought we would!" said Frisk.

"That's because the author is having secondhand cringe from making this entire fanfiction which has stupid, shitty outdated memes that don't appeal to them anymore," Chara said, shedding some light on the entire reason there hasn't been any new chapters for about 7 years. "That, and...well, Undertale. Do you get me?"

"No."

"Okay."

good sweet christ i self inserted myself in the previous chapter and it didnt look ironic enough so now it looks awful. awful! okay continue

All they had to do was sneak around Mettaton's weird hotel thing Mission Impossible style and they got to Asgore's house. Burgerpants was a pretty quality shitposter, so they hung out with him a little bit and hid behind the counter when Mettaton appeared sometimes. Then they had some burgers and didn't pay because Chara used all the money buying gems in Pokemon Shuffle. And because they wanted Burgerpants to get fired because they're assholes.

The Core had weird vaporwave music according to Chara, but it wasn't really vaporwave at all. In fact, I can't remember what the Core music sounds like, just bits and pieces, so I can't properly judge if it was vaporwave-esc at all. The walls also tasted like metal, because Chara licked them.

"Please continue getting ambushed by 50 million monsters while I try to act like I have nothing to do with them," said Alphys.

"Aren't you supposed to be stuttering?" asked everyone.

"Yes," said Alphys.

Every once in a while they saw Mettaton appear and they had to hide while freaky chase music blared in their ears. It sucked a lot. Finally they got past the Core and started walking to Asgore's house for a sleepover. Alphys appeared. She was turned away from them, fists at her side, breathing heavily as if she were contemplating something. Then she turned her head around to stare at them, Determination™© in her eyes.

"You don't know what you're in for," she said, taking a deep breath. Chara scoffed.

"Yeah we do. We've played this game and reset like 17 times."

"B...but...well, shut up. Shut the fuck up," snapped Alphys.

"I thought you were supposed to be stuttering? This whole story is about making fun of Undertale stereotypes," asked Frisk.

"It sort of was, but the author ran out of ideas eventually and it just melted down into something awful. Also, I'm not stuttering because I deserve better. Anyways I know I can't stop  you two, so bye. Or whatever. Good luck." Alphys disappeared. There she goes.

And here they were, walking down the weirdly sepia-tone halls of Asgore's house.  
  
"I lived here once," said Chara cheerily. "One time I locked Asriel in the bathroom and he cried a lot."

"That's...not funny," said Frisk, mildly disturbed.

"Oh, and look! There's where I ate those yellow flowers and passed out on the floor."  
  
"...oh."

The music was really bittersweet and made Frisk cry. Chara laughed really hard because they have a crying kink, apparently. They walked for a long time and got lost a little because I don't remember if you walk downstairs or just down the hall to get to Asgore? When they walked into the flower garden, everything seemed to stop. Except it didn't, since their time powers don't extend to stopping people in motion entirely. Sans can do that though, if only once ever. 

"My daddy..." whispered Chara. Frisk inhaled, ready to kinkshame.  
  
"Who's there?" said Asgore. He's a really giant monster, and because of this his voice is super loud, and the room echoed a lot and it hurt their ears a ton. Asgore turned around, his cape swaying from the movement. It was really cool.

"It's me, Chara!" said Chara. Asgore's breath stopped. It was Chara.

"I thought you died," Asgore breathed, crying but also taking out his spear because he had to kill Frisk really quick to get the next soul and free the monsters.

"I did, but I'm back. Surprise, I bet you'd thought you'd seen the last of me!"  
(im not funny)

"Asgore! Face me, and we can finish this story quickly!" Frisk yelled, raising their fist in challenge. Asgore sniffled and started wiping his nose, which was dripping from how much he was crying. Strange how he was so...angsty?

"I appreciate you trying to move things along, little defenseless easily-killable human child, but I'm trying to have a reunion with my child who I thought was dead," said Asgore gently but firmly like a king would. Chara waved at him in thanks. Frisk nodded, understanding, and sat down to wait until the uninteresting dialogue between the two was finished.

"Chara...it's so wonderful to see you," Asgore said, smiling. Sunlight filled the room, impossibly. It was beautiful. 

"Not really, since you admitted to Frisk once that I wasn't a good person, but thanks for trying."

"Forgive me, but it's true. I really don't want to see you all that much."

"I figured."

Frisk stood up, brushing off their pants. Or shorts, or whatever they wear.

"Ready to fight?" they asked. "I won't reset this time, promise. I don't feel like it anymore."

"I am ready when you are. Do not feel pressured to wait for me to try and murder you," Asgore soothed. 

_**It's time for...an action sequence!** _

Frisk jumped forward, hand crumpled into a fist. They swung, hitting Asgore square in the face.

"Shit," hissed Asgore, not expecting the blow. Get fucked.

"Fuck!" screamed Frisk, clutching their hand. That hurt like hell. Useless human fingers. Asgore recovered quickly because he's awesome, and brought his spear up to stab Frisk. Frisk was too busy whining to notice the action.

"Hell no. Nobody makes the first kill except for me," Chara said, voice low and serious. A knife appeared in their hand, and they flung it at Asgore's spear. It sheared it in half. The two pieces dropped to the floor with a clank.

"Um..." Asgore stared at his now useless weapon, scratching his chin nervously. "What...should I do now?"

"Damnit, Chara, now the battle won't be fun!" Frisk shrieked. Chara shrugged, a sly grin on their face.

"All according to keikaku," they said. 

"Keikaku means plan," a new voice said. Frisk and Chara and Asgore spun around. A yellow flower was talking. I wonder who it was? Gee I sure fucking wonder. God my head hurts

"Flowey," Frisk whisper-yelled. "You're here too early. We haven't beaten the shit out of Asgore yet!"

"Quit stealing my glory, pee face," Chara snapped. Flowey chuckled.

"Who ever said I had to be here at a certain time? I do what I want. I'm evil, the final boss, and a grade A 4th-wall breaker. So who cares!" Flowey disappeared under the ground only to reappear in front of Assgore. "Are you ready, dad?"

"What the hell? Toriel didn't give birth to a flower, unless maybe she found a different husband? Oh no," said Asgore, worriedly.

"No, dumbass," said Chara.

"Okay," said Asgore.

Flowey hit Asgore's foot with a leaf. His foot went flying 7 feet, and Asgore screamed. His body went poof and his soul floated midair.

"Jesus," said Frisk, not actually that shocked. Chara looked impressed.

"I taught you well," they said.

"Fucky," said Flowey. "Enough fooling around. Time to kill everyone, or whatever." Flowey reached up and opened his mouth to vore Asgore's soul. Frisk covered their eyes. Chara watched in anticipation.

" **No**."

Something slammed into Flowey at mach 1, killing him instantly. His soul appeared and then went _whoosh_ into the sky. He was dead.

"What the hell is going on lol" said Chara.

" **You brush me off to the side after one chapter, and forget about me completely? You guys have no right to finish the story. Assholes.** " Something yellow emerged from the sunlight Asgore had summoned; they were camouflaged there the whole time! Could it be...Alphys?

"Alphys? YOU?!" exclaimed Frisk.

" **No, you fucks. It's me, _MONSTER KID_!** "

What.

 


	10. dabs away from this fic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i never finished this chapter in full but enjoy whats here i guess

"Why the fuck are you here?" asked Frisk.

" **I said it in the last chapter you piece of shit. I'm here for revenge** ," replied Monster Kid, ferociously baring their teeth in an attempt to be intimidating despite being about 3 inches shorter than Frisk, who was like 6 inches tall.

"Okay, well good luck then. We'll beat the shit out of you without a doubt. There totally isn't going to be a plot twist or anything that'll make you stronger," said Chara, picking up Asgore's spear remains and spinning them in their hands. "Let's rumble, dinosaur."

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk>

" **Um, fuck. I'm not fighting you alone. Move assholes** ," Monster Kid swore, running like Naruto except without arms towards Asgore's soul. They tripped and snapped their nose off.

" **Shit**!" screamed Monster Kid. Chara chuckled.

"You idiot. You may be a plot twist, but you can never escape from your clumsy stereotype," they said, marching towards the fallen monster menacingly.

" **But I'm almost never depicted as a clumsy kid**!" whined Monster Kid annoyingly. (a/n: wtf was i thinking of course monster kid is depicted like this lmfao)

"So what this is the last chapter who gives a shit," said Frisk. Chara nodded in agreement. wow what a surprise

"It's time to end this, once and for all!" everyone shouted, including you reading this, and charged towards Monster Kid.

"Sorry, kiddos. That 'aint happening."

"God damnit," said Frisk, hand itching to press the reset button and forget about all of this.

 

"God, my fucking brother...wait, wait. Sorry, I'll save that for another time. I was hired by the mafia-" began Sans.

"My secret plot-overthrowing organization," corrected Monster Kid.

"Yeah, sorry," said Sans, "I was hired by the mafia to protect Monster Kid while they took Asgore's soul. In return, I get to beat the hell out of you two in revenge for my...my...bro. My bro."

"Holy hell, he actually managed to spit out the word "revenge" without crying!" exclaimed Chara, who now wanted to 

 

 

 

 

 

 

im done.


End file.
